Exploring Myself thru Baguio
I am here in Baguio for an event. I always look forward to coming here eversince I lived here in 2002 for a year.
In 2002, I left Manila for what might have been my version of quarter-life crisis. I packed all my things. Made them fit in a Ford Explorer.
Looking back, the vehicle was very apt for that period of my life- Explorer. I explored the unknown and things about myself. For almost a year, I just experienced living without responsibilities other than just live. I spent whatever savings I had. It was my time of existential musing-What am I here for? Where are my roots?
Is it all worth it?
For three months, I was alone. I lived near a mountain and enjoyed the serenity it afforded me. The sky seemed bluer, stars nearer and I could literally be enveloped in fog from 10am to 4pm. After three months, I was jolted from that stupor.
Started mingling and making friends. Walking and finding the beauty of of Baguio unknown to non-residents. Despite it's chilly weather, Baguio gave me warmth.
It offered me new friends. It made me see myself differently. I was called by my name again, Jay. No "direk", no surname. Just plain and simple JAY.
My stint in Baguio might not have given me all the answers to my musing.
But, it made me realize that no matter what, I will survive. That, life will take care of itself. That the answer to the question, "What am I here for?", is just to live- no more no less. Experience the miracle of life to the fullest, not thru the past, not dreaming about the future, but here and now, knowing fully that I am nothing,
but, I am here... now.