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Bebe as I Knew Her Then

Is Bebe a gay man or a transgendered woman?

Kuya Tom, as I knew Bebe from way back, went though a lot before becoming her true self -- Bebe Gandanghari. Coming from a typical Filipino macho family, Bebe felt that she had to do what was expected of her: marry a woman, play it straight, and suck it all in. But anyone who cannot come into terms with his own identity will eventually have a boiling point. 

Bebe eventually came out as a gay man on national television.  It's funny because we all expected it somehow, and maybe the last person who believed the lie was Bebe herself.  

It must've been hard for him.  Media lapping it up is not Rustom's fault.   His tv appearances are work.  It's what he does for a living.  

I recently defriended a Facecook friend.

What got my ire was his status, which said: "(Name withheld) is feeling bad that Bebe Gandanghari is getting a lot of airtime. What message are we giving the closeted young gay men?"

To me, it's not the greatest idea to stay in the closet. It is a lonely place and the last person you will be fooling is yourself, really. 

It is not Rustom's responbility to help anyone come out of the closet. Coming out is a process that we all go through in different ways. What worked for me may not work for you. 

But, I say, The hardest closet to come out of is the self-built closet that we put ourselves in.